the comedown

i started writing something
last night in bed listening to him breathe
but the nature of the thing is
you forget everything you wanted to say
lost in the ring of pain in your teeth
lost in the nausea
& the nosebleed

i am so angry at people
when they let themselves down
who the fuck are you
to throw water on your fire

i read your mother’s cards
on a trifecta of drugs
and there was a clear storyline
bifurcating her from her outcome
four iterations of the tall dark one
in the red cape

who the fuck are you
to decide you cannot choose