Tag Archives: sad

covid portrait, thanksgiving 2021

up late and slept in, hurt deep to the bonesthe sharp grey light spills in through cold windowswe started drinking around 11watching the soviet chess narrativesthat have always brought comfortthe dog is grumpyshe wants to sniff around the neighborhoodi am too tired to walk her today the recipe is: cubed stale breadonions and celery sweatedinContinue reading “covid portrait, thanksgiving 2021”

in my dreams i see you love so many things

jealous of the anonymous voiceon the other side of the telephoneof the sweet smooth wood singingtaut strings under deft fingersof some bleak city still unmetthe one that holds new dreams jealous of the ink and papermainlined and held closeof the teeth flashed smilingand the soft swish of hairof the passwords learnedthe ones to guide newContinue reading “in my dreams i see you love so many things”

the thickest wall in the world

the easiest way to put it iseverything sucks and i want to diebut who wants the easy way i can’t stay angry. can’t even be hurtthe reasons are what they are what they should becongratulations on having a goal but no: can’t even be spitefulsee there’s so much love here, still, nowand you’re so stupidContinue reading “the thickest wall in the world”

to anyone interested

my feet look like they’re carvedfrom marble the veinsoutstanding long slendertoes smooth unencumberedfree of heavy boots wool socksblandly pretty nothing special maybei could get around some other wayif i pass my driver’s test in july it’s been so hard though i swearworking feels like dying some daysand we both slept better before all the deathsbutContinue reading “to anyone interested”

nocturne: exit wounds

his wife upstairs with the boyssends hate through the floor in her sleepi am gathering all the things i have left behindon previous visits; soggy shoes an old coata purse with a smelly glass pipeif it be the last time let it be the bestthe snow has just begun to meltbut in the car thisContinue reading “nocturne: exit wounds”

five excuses

I. hollow voice to empty earsbecause i shot wordslike bullets to the black nightsinging the meteor showercat-clawing until the notes shatteredand fell spent and sweatingat the feet of a mumbling crowdwho don’t seem to like purplenearly as much as i do II. smash cut: age eightbecause she used to saywhen you write your bestsellerinstead ofContinue reading “five excuses”

the eternal living room

if i ever meet godi want to ask itwhy people seem to hurt mewhen i’ve been actively strainingtoward kindnessand why i was bornwith such a senseof the importance of everyone elseif this messiah complexhas any sort of purposeand why one little slightsends me sailing offon a rough sick seaof self hatredand will i ever getContinue reading “the eternal living room”

this one weird trick

you can stay up late playing video gamesyou can quit your diet and eat white breadnobody cares that you didn’t showeryou never have to take your clothes off there’s a secret languagewhich can shorten life expectancyyou’ll feel better having learned itso much taller and braverwith those words in your head he said why do youContinue reading “this one weird trick”

at least there was movement

a point of exhaustion whereyou have chills and two lumpsrising on your head and allyou can think about ishow he tangles up in youwhen you go to sleep at nightthe short distance feelsimpossible to cross baby imiss your body next to minei have tried so hard for naughti never said what it means to meallContinue reading “at least there was movement”