if i ever meet godi want to ask itwhy people seem to hurt mewhen i’ve been actively strainingtoward kindnessand why i was bornwith such a senseof the importance of everyone elseif this messiah complexhas any sort of purposeand why one little slightsends me sailing offon a rough sick seaof self hatredand will i ever getContinue reading “the eternal living room”
Tag Archives: loneliness
solo
you experience these momentsof sheer lonelinesslike a cliff beckonsas if you could catch the skyif you throw yourselfscreamingover the edge
there’s no I in team
they get into their carand drive to a beachthey have a good dayswimming and laughingthey eat their potato chipsand drink cold beerfrom a cooler they broughttheir skin browninguntil sunset kisses themand tells them it’s timeto go home and restthey climb into bed, sleepand when they wakethey speak of their dreamscomplex and lovelywith their breakfast sheContinue reading “there’s no I in team”
compared to all the local celebrities
this box of brainsfeels so much lessthan special at timeswishing that my favoriteartists weren’t so uncoolor that i cared about houseplantsand had an eye for decoratingor a gender identityor that i played tennis really wellthat languages would stickand i could cite theorywhile i give you a glimpseof the horsehead nebulathrough my elaborate telescopebefore utterly blowingContinue reading “compared to all the local celebrities”
lock your own door, pt. ii
should i switch to tequilain spite of our rotten limesfeet in lead bootsroll me into the riverwatch me sinkin defiance of your expectationsoh you thought i’d fightyou thought i’d swimyou did did yousorry to disappointbut what’s else is new my patience is as shortas your memoryor your attention spanor the straw i drewdown on youContinue reading “lock your own door, pt. ii”
nocturne: swamp thing
something about standingin a swamp slimed with pond scumbuilding a bridge with fallen treessurprised at what i can carrythese strangers approachcalling me by namethey have a letter for memistakenly delivered years agowhen it would have matteredthe envelope is covered withnotes about how to find methey’ve made it a mystery to solvethey seem so proud myContinue reading “nocturne: swamp thing”
toxic waste bucket brigade
call it a rewatch of a shitty movie that had a predictable ending the first time an endless regifting of love me to you to her to him a sweet package with a bow never meant for its final recipient and of course he won’t want it it’s monogrammed with your initials call it aContinue reading “toxic waste bucket brigade”
t-minus
i’m glad we get another autumnto pick a day to pick applesbut instead just buy themand walk by the riverand take elaborate posed photosnext to some pumpkinsand laugh we get another summerto watch the dog swimand eat ice cream sandwichesand seek respite from heatin the grocery storeduring peak tejano hoursi’m gonna wear colorful dresseswe’re gonnaContinue reading “t-minus”
reverse dutch boy
the river of my desireonce seemed to flood & drownevery good thing i hadso i built a strong dam& let myself take small sipsfrom the lake that grewyear by year he took a sledgehammer& relentlessly swung &hacked giant holesthrough concrete & rebarstood firm in the rushlaughing as it soaked himhe said, there. you’re free.& thenContinue reading “reverse dutch boy”
lock your own door
another genius dead by suicideto add to my lists of influencesand reasons i love youi fell asleep quickly and aloneand woke before my alarmanxious nausea sandwichedbetween long silent days you said you feel the most like yourselfwhen you are alone and i saidhoney that’s everyone that’s all of uswhen i am alone i am soContinue reading “lock your own door”
mattress dungeon 