drugs – mattress dungeon

do

i have two blue tabletsin the orange bottle to my leftin the purse with the flower printand yes i probably shouldn’t startchildproof top break glass in meand pull lever: so i do, like you i have one pill i haven’t squanderedfinger its score and wonderin case of emergencyif i chew it when it all comesContinue reading “do”

before the letdown

physically it’s something like those tiny tied up plastic bags chunky white powder colorful paper featherlight dried fungus wiping sweat to palm them the quickness in my step blood sizzling alert and fearful it’s gotten expensive as a kid my teeth would grind on the way to the movies at the foot of a babyContinue reading “before the letdown”

cassavetes pt ii

a suicidal instinct can manifest in one’s choice of partner we push each other out of line and hope to make chalk lines out of these piles of snow when he says: let’s drink and drivei spring for the 12% abvwhen the road twists aheadmy laugh echoes off the shale wallsi know which songs toContinue reading “cassavetes pt ii”

kissing/tripping

lovely one in the darkwith the rainbow shiversglowing electric ley linesfrom fresh peachto violent violetunder your handsbetween your teeth gasping offstagefor once this is no performancebut a prayersacred unafraid offeredto the power that brought us here the softness the softnessstrikes like a lightning matchcrying crying into your open mouthbegging pleadingto taste you angelic holy divineContinue reading “kissing/tripping”

any port in a storm (as long as it’s ruby)

neither of us(none of us)likes those poems that are plainspoken and don’tuse a line break to sayanything andusually iwouldn’t write one butdesperate timesand all that i cannotunderstand why i miss youthis much and youseem to be more than finewith me being nothingmore than a seasoningsprinkled over the daywhen you claimedthat you loved mebecause i amContinue reading “any port in a storm (as long as it’s ruby)”

dim bulbs, small village

the problem, alwaysis the diminishing returns& at some point you find yourselfin the wee hours drinking wine &cutting lines to sun kil moonwhile the beautiful ones sleepas if you couldn’t close your own eyesbut you’re hundreds of milesfrom anyone who’s ever really given a shityou could call & get another talkabout worry & your bloodContinue reading “dim bulbs, small village”

sick of men destroying shit

that carbon-black cookie sheet is (was) a wilton nonstick (obviously) ruined by carelessness i’d get another but i just don’t trust you not to roast chicken on the new one (that is what pyrex is for) it’s like when parents say we’ll get nicer stuff when the kids are a little older but you’re anContinue reading “sick of men destroying shit”

let’s make out and listen to car seat headrest

we can’t have a rational conversation about all the fun ways my hurt manifests of course it’s easier when i’m leaning hedonist & i’m so enjoyable when i’m drunk but here i am waking up with a heart full of hate gagging on nightmares & i just can’t find the exit the less i loveContinue reading “let’s make out and listen to car seat headrest”