anxiety – mattress dungeon

do

i have two blue tabletsin the orange bottle to my leftin the purse with the flower printand yes i probably shouldn’t startchildproof top break glass in meand pull lever: so i do, like you i have one pill i haven’t squanderedfinger its score and wonderin case of emergencyif i chew it when it all comesContinue reading “do”

predawn shakes, broad & leo

good morningat the tonethe time will befive forty-fourand twenty-five seconds sometimes love iswaking upwhen you could sleep inso your lover doesn’thave to be alonesometimes, loveit’s hard to dothe things we need to do people tend to conflatebravery and fearlessnessas if courage has meaningwithout fear to drive it forwardas if the bravest among usaren’t defined byContinue reading “predawn shakes, broad & leo”

lock your own door

another genius dead by suicideto add to my lists of influencesand reasons i love youi fell asleep quickly and aloneand woke before my alarmanxious nausea sandwichedbetween long silent days you said you feel the most like yourselfwhen you are alone and i saidhoney that’s everyone that’s all of uswhen i am alone i am soContinue reading “lock your own door”

just over here, you know, digesting

so yeah i could sit here& write some kinda emo opusabout how fucked up it isthat i’m not fucked up enoughbut eh life’s back to normal i guessi bit my nails back down to bleeding& cried until i could laugh oh youyou are the hardest pill to swallowsorry about ye olde gag reflextruer words &Continue reading “just over here, you know, digesting”

this poem is brought to you by the somnam corporation

maybe part of why you fit so niceis you don’t make me feelemotionally claustrophobicwe’ve had these soft silencesfull of nonverbal truthsyou’ve gone monthswithout trying to read my diary most times i feelmy time my thoughts my feelingsare a public librarywith dozens of patronsmilling about & checking me outit gets exhaustingto keep so little for meContinue reading “this poem is brought to you by the somnam corporation”

i barely know ‘er

from my vantage point behind the desk i can see rib fragments and detached limbs and brain matter and dark bloody muscle stretched out mosaic on the concrete the stomach twists and writhes the heart hovers, moaning hummingbird i want to mash all the pieces together form them into something that’ll live but seeing howContinue reading “i barely know ‘er”