a suicidal instinct can manifest in one’s choice of partner we push each other out of line and hope to make chalk lines out of these piles of snow when he says: let’s drink and drivei spring for the 12% abvwhen the road twists aheadmy laugh echoes off the shale wallsi know which songs toContinue reading “cassavetes pt ii”
Tag Archives: alcoholism
i barely know ‘er
from my vantage point behind the desk i can see rib fragments and detached limbs and brain matter and dark bloody muscle stretched out mosaic on the concrete the stomach twists and writhes the heart hovers, moaning hummingbird i want to mash all the pieces together form them into something that’ll live but seeing howContinue reading “i barely know ‘er”
venomous progression
the snake coiled in my guthas the typical markingsof a Midwestern Heartbreakerfilthy isolation & yearningno appetite & poor sleepthe mind running over & overwords spoken & unspokenthe extra muscle it takesto pick up a pen & writethe same trite bullshitas everyone else who’s had a bite take me to a bankwith a robbery in progressi’llContinue reading “venomous progression”
i could honestly really use an energy drink right about now
to thee, my dear friendi do indeed dedicate this delicious doughnutit’s a good ‘unthey overfilled itjust packed the damn thing so fulla buttercreamsoft fresh sweetw/chocolate icing the poet shall smashthe hell out of this treathungover, low blood sugarclearly quitting drinkingdidn’t stick that welllo i am attemptingto stave off this attack y’all ever get this wayanContinue reading “i could honestly really use an energy drink right about now”
american sadness pt i
city girl goes to the public libraryto scribble down a few linesshelves of books a shelter & i’m–i’m so scared. see i read a lotof contemporary american lit& they say it betterbut i’m nothing if not free & braveenough to fuck it up i never cared much before; i turnedup my nose & on myContinue reading “american sadness pt i”
day four
and then last night i found myselfin family dollar staring blankly at bags of chipsand seeing only objectstrying to imagine eating themlike chewing wet cardboardsour cream and onion flavor my friend who’s been to rehabtells me don’t give up sugaryour body needs it detox is weirdbut i’ve spent entire days eating cakeand i’d rather justContinue reading “day four”
blank speech
well because see i have this thing with wanting i wasn’t allowed to want things when i was a kid the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it hot damn sometimes the bible contains really great poetry i was always a psalms girl myself yeah that and ezekiel yearningContinue reading “blank speech”
the fuck do you mean you haven’t seen say anything
I will not fallInto the spiked pit of self loathingIn this bar tonightI just fucking refuse Sure I crashed the carBut in my defense I’m runningOn two hours of sleepAnd a Whole Lotta Booze And I’ve got this wholePeter Gabriel thing right nowBecause I’ve got a boom boxAnd you’ve got a windowBut ne’er the twainContinue reading “the fuck do you mean you haven’t seen say anything”
i’d leave if the rotation was just a little longer
yeah okif yall are gonna beon yr phones theni dont feel so badabout my drunk scribblesfuck it all my boys unhappy& my reluctant crush hasv o m i t b r e a t hits 1117 & im drunk &i wanna be trashed& im so tired of thisDISappearing actjesus why is everything chaosim ready toContinue reading “i’d leave if the rotation was just a little longer”
let’s make out and listen to car seat headrest
we can’t have a rational conversation about all the fun ways my hurt manifests of course it’s easier when i’m leaning hedonist & i’m so enjoyable when i’m drunk but here i am waking up with a heart full of hate gagging on nightmares & i just can’t find the exit the less i loveContinue reading “let’s make out and listen to car seat headrest”
mattress dungeon 