Author Archives: mattress dungeon

windower

there’s so much blood herewe’ll never get the stain outempty for your uncarved imagestraightening undertwin waterfalls i’m on a road paved with dead shoes& glittering insect shellscan’t feel painwithout a body to burnand the sheets never held so much heatyou can’t fake this shit, not now over black coffee, over noise rocktake the map butContinue reading “windower”

it isn’t how it sounds

i am weary of this dance with my thoughtsprotecting them from intrudersa red-winged blackbird screamingfrom her nest& begging disinterest to lift& fade like a fog i am free butthe words on my pageare belongingsdemanded and covetedagainst my desiresand of my desires & desires against desires i am weary of taking messagesamanuensis to your musehello theContinue reading “it isn’t how it sounds”

special thanks

thanks for getting me those american spirit coupons since my id is expiredthanks for singing phillip collins at my requestthanks for not holding a grudge about all that fucking production dramathanks for showing up smelling like cucumbersthanks for buying me wine since my id is expiredthanks for accepting my ramen-noodle peace offeringthanks for not tryingContinue reading “special thanks”

i’d leave if the rotation was just a little longer

yeah okif yall are gonna beon yr phones theni dont feel so badabout my drunk scribblesfuck it all my boys unhappy& my reluctant crush hasv o m i t b r e a t hits 1117 & im drunk &i wanna be trashed& im so tired of thisDISappearing actjesus why is everything chaosim ready toContinue reading “i’d leave if the rotation was just a little longer”

you’re a ben kweller blizzard

it’s been lonelier than usual at worki keep calling long distancelike it’ll make a differencethis time hi hello again am ibothering youyour tone changedsomewhere recently maybe you’re the wrong bankfor this deposit this is all so counterproductivelike a nailbiting habitborn from hygiene anxiety backskip & blot lipstickmaybe this part won’talways feel so fraught hi helloContinue reading “you’re a ben kweller blizzard”

loosey-goosey

i meant to tell you a story onceit may be stale nowbut it’s three peoplein a smoky apartmentrunning lines, changing wordsembellishing & polishingthe confidence in camaraderieday after day i felt stronger &more alive & ready to stretch. goddamn it was beautiful. uskids cooking a meal together you did thisit’s our story nowall of itand iContinue reading “loosey-goosey”

[ ]

i wrote some notesbeforei opened the floorfor questions& here we are nowi’ll remind youthat you asked. i’m burned out on sexy people& sexy partieshow does it feelbeing yousee i guess you’ve gatheredi’m intense —that’s why i like camping yeah no yeah howdo you get it all quiethow do you convince yourselfto breathe?like this:[ ] butContinue reading “[ ]”

everything is blue. pt iv

if we got togetheri’d probably stop singingi’d probably stop singingif we got togetheryou don’t have to ask mei’d just fucking do iteven if you beg mei can’t get back into itbetter if you’re absentbetter if i’m piningbetter if we’re drinkingbetter just a pictureof your lips all over mine fuck you, fuck you, fuck youeverything isContinue reading “everything is blue. pt iv”

bite me you fucking lush

two left out on the edge of nothingand here i was trying to be goodif it ain’t wrong then it don’t feel rightand i’ve cut it off before. yeah i broke it off before.i need designer vacations and drugs with a kickyou can’t kiss me on these filthy sheetsi want to get away. i wantContinue reading “bite me you fucking lush”