oh darlin i aint never heardnothin as sad as youcryin out in drunken pain yer cards close; not a gamblerbut the mirror in yer voiceshows yer hand babe i get why yer hurtinya dont gotta say it out loud& i guess neither will i a piece of this messll always beyers, love o minedidnt workContinue reading “more than when you tried”
Author Archives: mattress dungeon
it hasn’t been my day for a couple years
a partial list of sins & character defects: ihave this thing for blasphemyi love the smell of moneyhighly susceptible to boredomand leatherand coercionand shoplifting i like hurting peoplebut i hate it when they crytake it like a man, manblood tastes better than tears i have a gnawing hungry fetishfor unattainabilityat any given momenti’m in loveContinue reading “it hasn’t been my day for a couple years”
i could honestly really use an energy drink right about now
to thee, my dear friendi do indeed dedicate this delicious doughnutit’s a good ‘unthey overfilled itjust packed the damn thing so fulla buttercreamsoft fresh sweetw/chocolate icing the poet shall smashthe hell out of this treathungover, low blood sugarclearly quitting drinkingdidn’t stick that welllo i am attemptingto stave off this attack y’all ever get this wayanContinue reading “i could honestly really use an energy drink right about now”
american sadness pt i
city girl goes to the public libraryto scribble down a few linesshelves of books a shelter & i’m–i’m so scared. see i read a lotof contemporary american lit& they say it betterbut i’m nothing if not free & braveenough to fuck it up i never cared much before; i turnedup my nose & on myContinue reading “american sadness pt i”
waking up with that american sadness
half the audience left at intermissionbecause they only cameto support that one comicwho did a bit about cock & ball tortureand somehow made it racistsegueing into how he wantsto best gacy at murderingand i’m the asshole who booked him couple years ago i had timeto fill after a last-minute dropso we did this piece called“sometimesContinue reading “waking up with that american sadness”
organizational skills
i tell my best friend:if you needed it, i’d give you a kidneytransfuse my bloodtransplant my marrowmy heart my corneas my skinwhatever you need this is super weirdbut it isn’t a sex thinglike an emotional fetishi guess i love the ideathat part of mewill live inside of youliteralize the metaphororganize our friendship
monica matthews mournfully messaging me
how dare you send me west toward the mountains installing your wistful dreamslike so much softwarei may be a city girlbut i can drive hard& i can climb how to love someone:learn them & outshine themthey’ll certainly be impressed(this actually never worksbut i’ve never read a map better suited for)expressing & navigatingthe territory of totalContinue reading “monica matthews mournfully messaging me”
turns out it was just modest mouse lyrics after all
fresh blood, fresh snow sent screaming sober dancing without drinking is not the usual in this town we cowboys are all desperate for a new war or a new frontier the plains are cold tonight and we ride sore hearts and eyes searching for the last wild buffalo it’ll look so good on instagrami’ve gotContinue reading “turns out it was just modest mouse lyrics after all”
uncool ways of decathecting
maybe the hands-on bruisesnever faded & just slipped silentunder skin’s surfacelike a necklace i’ll never removewith a clasp i’ll never reach the first boy i ever kissedtried to kill his wifesome dramatic double suicide thingwith an insanity plea& daddy’s lawyers bought him outdodged that bulletby diving into trenchesstrangled out of breathwith nothing so inchoate asContinue reading “uncool ways of decathecting”
day four
and then last night i found myselfin family dollar staring blankly at bags of chipsand seeing only objectstrying to imagine eating themlike chewing wet cardboardsour cream and onion flavor my friend who’s been to rehabtells me don’t give up sugaryour body needs it detox is weirdbut i’ve spent entire days eating cakeand i’d rather justContinue reading “day four”
mattress dungeon 