my feet look like they’re carved
from marble the veins
outstanding long slender
toes smooth unencumbered
free of heavy boots wool socks
blandly pretty nothing special maybe
i could get around some other way
if i pass my driver’s test in july
it’s been so hard though i swear
working feels like dying some days
and we both slept better before all the deaths
but he shakes in his sleep
these gasping jolts and jerks
i pull away i roll over i hug a pillow
it’s nothing sane or fair
but lord i miss the peace of dreaming
while touching
this digital rain washes nothing clean
and under all of it the anger
you’ve heard it all before so
i will spare you, mostly, and say
the joy has fled like everything i loved
was a drug that’s lost its buzz
chasing maintenance doses of happiness
this dragon burns pitifully under my tongue
the words in my head have been caged
and grown claws to scratch and throats to cry
good morning they say will you spend some time
with us today oh we so long to escape
and find another to caress to lick to kiss
i mumble an apology into my coffee cup
it’s not a good time i say
never a good time, never anymore
i hurt from crown to arch
so anyway
it’ll be fifty bucks for a couple photos
mattress dungeon 