I. hollow voice to empty ears
because i shot words
like bullets to the black night
singing the meteor shower
cat-clawing until the notes shattered
and fell spent and sweating
at the feet of a mumbling crowd
who don’t seem to like purple
nearly as much as i do
II. smash cut: age eight
because she used to say
when you write your bestseller
instead of if
the expectation a seed
to a tree to a fruit too big
too ripe too rotten
to hope for anything
except that it might seed again
III. zero style points
because my attention span leads to inconsistency leads to the sort of shaky artistry that makes it difficult to convince myself that anything worthwhile can come out of the sort of stream of conscious bitterness that tends to plague me and i want to write something that accomplishes a goal further than making hostile eye contact with the reader while i take all of my clothes off and smear a thin coat of paint on my skin without telling a single goddamn joke to break the tension
IV. what if you’re wrong
because a calling supposedly has a flavor
that is easier tasted from the outside
so easy to condescend and call it
ego or arrogance or attention-seeking
and is it not arrogance to say
i know myself better than you do
is it not ego to say i was born for this
is it not attention-seeking to say
i have something good inside of me
if i am wrong i am undone
V. the rent is always due
because there’s an injured sparrow
shaking terrified in my hands
and if i set it aside it will die
and i have this knowledge
at every moment
mattress dungeon 