lock your own door, pt. ii

should i switch to tequila
in spite of our rotten limes
feet in lead boots
roll me into the river
watch me sink
in defiance of your expectations
oh you thought i’d fight
you thought i’d swim
you did did you
sorry to disappoint
but what’s else is new

my patience is as short
as your memory
or your attention span
or the straw i drew
down on you in my dreams
and you flinched but
lied about it later you said
you love being a target

that cognitive dissonance
is so sweet as a shield
the deviance your decisions
make for you entwined
in the map dad wrote you
as an infant in your early twenties
holding your bottle
of cheap beer and cheaper laughs

we were born free
and spend our lives
decorating prisons

i see your open window
i’ve flown some myself
you talk like you know
that i can’t keep up
like it’s not worth trying
like the breath you’ll breathe outside
will be sweeter
and it will
i won’t argue that

but it hollows out the other thing
and leaves me empty after injection
after injection when i have
this problem where i have
to take matters into my own hands
love is a word you use defensively
so much is a null compared to nothing

you have no stakes
but oh aren’t you the prettiest
room in the world