reverse dutch boy

the river of my desire
once seemed to flood & drown
every good thing i had
so i built a strong dam
& let myself take small sips
from the lake that grew
year by year

he took a sledgehammer
& relentlessly swung &
hacked giant holes
through concrete & rebar
stood firm in the rush
laughing as it soaked him
he said, there. you’re free.
& then he left

i could be angry at the absence
or i could thank him
for his strong tools
& his steady arms
but mostly
it just hurts to want again
i have no idea what to do
with all of this water