what i was trying to say was

creatively barren times
lead to bad decisions
i have thrown a sledgehammer
at my values system
and watched it shatter like ice
only men enter my house now
and i can’t bring myself
to love any of them

oh trust is such a hard thing
for a shackled heart
and a mind full of rusty nails
i am diving back into a lake of pages
hoping for hope and finding
it’s all variations on a theme

love and lust and lots of loss
we could chant this mantra
until the sun burns out
knowing these things full well
and still unbelieving
receiving these painful gifts
at a surprise party we threw ourselves